


do you think peters bones are hollow or dense

by gayplums



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Bisexual Steve Rogers, Crack, Crack and Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Crack, Gay Bucky Barnes, Group chat, Not Spider-Man: Far From Home Compliant, Parent Tony Stark, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter is a Little Shit, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Post-Spider-Man: Homecoming, Precious Peter Parker, Protective Avengers, Social Media, Spider-Man: Far From Home (Movie) Spoilers, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Does What He Wants, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Twitter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-01
Updated: 2019-10-01
Packaged: 2020-11-08 19:33:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20840852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gayplums/pseuds/gayplums
Summary: yes i made a 3rd book idk why but i did :)





	1. Chapter 1

**I’m In @ned.in.the.chair**

do you think peters bones are hollow or dense

> **peter-man @peterparkour**
> 
> @ned.in.the.chair ned what the heck

-

**Iron Dad* @IronSandwich**

me: *sloshes into the room slimily and boogishly*

> **Iron Uncle* @IronPatriot**
> 
> @IronSandwich don’t like that
> 
> **Iron Dad* @IronSandwich**
> 
> @IronPatriot *sloshes into the room slimily and boogishly*
> 
> **raccoon man @notarobot**
> 
> @IronSandwich why can i hear this ive never heard this sound before

-

**Uncle Bruce* @greenman**

There’s more pineapple in a pineapple than there is in a can of pineapples

> **Bon Jovi @charles**
> 
> @greenman omg you can be sharing a pineapple in a can with someone without sharing the can @AcaDecMSST

-

**King T’Challa* @BlackPanther**

Having a sibling is either “we ride together we die together” or “no officer I’ve never seen that person before in my life” there is no in between.

> **Ms. Keisha* @freshurivocado**
> 
> @BlackPanther loser: *in jail for something dumb*
> 
> officer: is this your brother?
> 
> me: no officer i don’t have a brother, i’ve never seen that person before.

-

**I am Groot @iamgroot**

mantis: the galaxy looks beautiful

drax: u know who else is beautiful

mantis: me?

drax: no

-

**Spider Aunt* @queennat**

im surrounded by idiots [photo: The Avengers are eating dinner. Correction, were. Steve and Tony are yelling at each other covered in pasta. Clint is wheezing on top of the table. Peter looks confused and has a piece of bread in his hair with pasta sauce on his face. Vision is calmly sitting at the table. Wanda has a shield of floating, red-glowing bread and is watching the proceedings with interest as she eats her pasta. Rhodey and Bruce both have their heads in their hands. Thor is focused solely on his food. Bucky is also watching in while he shovels food in his mouth. Sam is recording.]

-

**MJ @QueenBitch**

im rebranding

**mj @lesbiamj**

hello

-

**mj @lesbiamj**

im bored. something funny.

> **I’m In @ned.in.the.chair**
> 
> @lesbiamj SOMETHING IN ALL CAPS
> 
> **mj @lesbiamj**
> 
> @ned.in.the.chair meh
> 
> **peter-man @peterparkour**
> 
> @lesbiamj over the top comment
> 
> **Bird Uncle 2 @birdman**
> 
> @peterparkour @lesbiamj what is wrong with you guys

-

**bider-king* @swingsbothways**

if a dead ancestor doesnt appear in the sky to stop me, it cant be that bad

> **I’m In @ned.in.the.chair**
> 
> @swingbothways don’t do what your about to do plz

-

**Daily Globe @DailyGlobe**

SPIDER-MAN FOUND UNCONSCIOUS ALONGSIDE THREE CRIMINALS [Photo: Peter is unconscious next to a garbage can.]

-

**Roger Harrington @mrharrington**

despite many protests we are going on another field trip @AcaDecMSST

> **fastest man alive @fthompson**
> 
> @mrharrington are you shitting me
> 
> **Cindy @moonmoon**
> 
> @mrharrington again? again?!
> 
> **Bon Jovi @charles**
> 
> @mrharrington do you think we’re going to die this time?
> 
> **Sal @avrillavigne**
> 
> @mrharrington guys spider man is coming we probably wont die
> 
> **peter-man @peterparkour**
> 
> @mrharrington oh no
> 
> **rise and shine @bbrant**
> 
> @mrharrington where are we going?
> 
> **Roger Harrington @mrharrington**
> 
> @bbrant Italy
> 
>   
  



	2. is he ok

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Iron Dad* @IronSandwich
> 
> honestly thor could rip my spine out and use it as a flogger on my ass and id let him
> 
> Thunder Uncle* @thundergod
> 
> @IronSandwich excuse me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow, an update???

**I’m In @ned.in.the.chair**

hey @IronSandwich why hasnt peter texted me back in a while?

> **Iron Dad* @IronSandwich**
> 
> @ned.in.the.chair his phone isnt broken i just revoked his twitter privileges 
> 
> **Sal @avrillavigne**
> 
> @IronSandwich tony really said your twitter privileges have been revoked
> 
> **Iron Mom @PPotts**
> 
> @IronSandwich tony give peter his phone back
> 
> **Iron Dad* @IronSandwich**
> 
> @PPotts why
> 
> **Iron Mom @PPotts**
> 
> @IronSandwich tony

-

**peter-man @peterparkour**

hey guys im back

-

**peter-man @peterparkour**

@IronSandwich how many ben and jerrys can you buy right now

> **Iron Dad* @IronSandwich**
> 
> @peterparkour yes

-

**The Guardian @TheGuardian**

Tony Stark buys ice cream business Ben and Jerry's?

> **Ben and Jerry's***
> 
> @TheGaurdian We are now Ben, Jerry, and Tonys's.

-

**mj @lesbiamj**

While you studied metal i studie

**fastest man alive @fthompson**

MJ JUST THREW HER PHONE AT ME [picture: flash is crying and has a faint red mark on his forehead]

**mj @lesbiamj**

sorry flash was being an idiot 

**mj @lesbiamj**

anyway i can and will destroy you if i need to

-

**peter-man @peterparkour**

is it gay to kiss james charles?

while yes, a man kissing another man is inherently a homosexual act, james charles prefers straight guys, so wouldn't that ca cancel the gayness of the act out? perhaps. in this essay i will

> **Ms. Keisha* @freshurivocado**
> 
> @peterparkour shut up you burnt fucking marshmallow
> 
> **peter-man @peterparkour**
> 
> @freshurivocado eat some starches to counteract all that salt you have

-

**Uncle Bruce* @greenman**

whos to say sneeplesnorp isnt a word

> **Thunder Uncle* @thundergod**
> 
> @greenman well all words are made up
> 
> **Uncle Bruce* @greenman**
> 
> @thundergod exactly 

-

**Iron Dad* @IronSandwich**

honestly thor could rip my spine out and use it as a flogger on my ass and id let him

> **Thunder Uncle* @thundergod**
> 
> @IronSandwich excuse me
> 
> **Iron Dad* @IronSandwich**
> 
> @thundergod no dont go
> 
> **Thunder Uncle* @thundergod**
> 
> @IronSandwich [picture: a spongebob meme: a fish leaving the krusty krab]

-

**Iron Uncle* @IronPatriot**

a boy becomes a man when he learns that its not his emotions that are his weakness.

> **Iron Uncle* @IronPatriot**
> 
> @IronPatriot in conclusion, tony stark is a boy
> 
> **Iron Dad* @IronSandwich**
> 
> @IronPatriot SHUT UP
> 
> **Iron Mom @PPotts**
> 
> @IronPatriot its true

-

**fastest man alive @fthompson**

FLASH MOB! IM GOING TO ITALY!

> **Iron Beast @ironmuscle**
> 
> @fthompson youre going to record it right? 
> 
> **fastest man alive @fthompson**
> 
> @ironmuscle ofc ofc

-

**mj @lesbiamj**

the losers are up to something [picture: taken in a classroom. peter and ned are talking to each other in a suspicious manner, as they are sitting close to each other with their heads almost touching.]

**mj @lesbiamj**

i talked to them and peter was acting weird 

> **Cindy @moonmoon**
> 
> @lesbiamj someone has a cruuUuUuUUush 
> 
> **peter-man @peterparkour**
> 
> @moonmoon no i dont
> 
> **peter-man @peterparkour**
> 
> @moonmoon thats insane hahahhaahah
> 
> **peter-man @peterparkour**
> 
> @moonmoon i dont even like girls
> 
> **mj @lesbiamj**
> 
> @peterparkour youre gay?
> 
> **peter-man @peterparkour**
> 
> @lesbiamj no
> 
> **peter-man @peterparkour**
> 
> @lesbiamj i mean yeah
> 
> **peter-man @peterparkour**
> 
> @lesbiamj i mean
> 
> **peter-man @peterparkour**
> 
> @lesbiamj what
> 
> **I’m In @ned.in.the.chair**
> 
> @peterparkour peter 
> 
> **peter-man @peterparkour**
> 
> @ned.in.the.chair i swing both ways bi

-

**false! @dingabe**

is he ok [video: peter jumps out of his chair, face cherry red. he opens his backpack and pulls out his suit, which he hastily puts on. he jumps on the ceiling and pulls open the window, and jumps out.]

-

**peter-man @peterparkour**

my suitcase beeped when it went through the thingy and, despite not putting my suit in there, my suit WAS in there. the lady checking my suitcase pulled out a banana instead.

> **I’m In @ned.in.the.chair**
> 
> @peterparkour id die for metal detector lady 
> 
> **metal detector lady @airplanelady**
> 
> @ned.in.the.chair you will

-

**Cindy @moonmoon**

peter just tried to sit next to mj and said he had allergies and mr harrington started freaking out

**Cindy @moonmoon**

anyway mr harrington is snoring on peters shoulder and peter looks miserable 

> ****Nova** @marvelousnova**
> 
> @moonmoon pics i beg of you show us the pic
> 
> **Cindy @moonmoon**
> 
> @marvelousnova [picture: taken from an angle on the airplane. peters face is visible and obviously miserable, he is staring straight ahead at the chair in front of him. mr harrington is snoring on peters shoulder, deep in sleep.] [picture: peter is now looking pleadingly at the camera.]
> 
> **Ms. Keisha* @freshurivocado**
> 
> @moonmoon [picture: photoshopped picture of a tan skinned man crying while laughing]
> 
> **peter-man @peterparkour**
> 
> @freshurivocado save me pleathe i beg you
> 
> **Ms. Keisha* @freshurivocado**
> 
> @peterparkour this is what you get for being a dumbass, spidey

-

**Uncle America* @Cap.Poptarts**

i tried to make toast [picture: a toaster is on its side, the insides of the machine are a glowing orange.] [picture: steve is holding the toaster as he goes outside, the toaster is melting and flames are leaking like silky orange smoke out of the machine.] [picture: the toaster is on the ground, surrounded by melted parts like a puddle. flames are shooting out from the toaster with smoke billowing out from the ruined tech] [picture: thor his holding a broken in half fire extinguisher. the toaster is covered in white stuff. the fire is out.]

> **raccoon man @notarobot**
> 
> @Cap.Poptarts ur an idiot

-

**I’m In @ned.in.the.chair**

i have a girlfriend i love her [picture: its of ned and betty, both looking at the camera with happy faces]

> **peter-man @peterparkour**
> 
> @ned.in.the.chair what happened to being bachelors in europe?
> 
> **I’m In @ned.in.the.chair**
> 
> @peterparkour those were the words of a boy, and im a man now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dont expect an update for a while as i am going to the hospital today...


End file.
